19 Hilarious Holiday Tweets to Keep Parents From Losing Their Minds

by ANA BALICH

Magic exists in the holiday season, especially around kids. Their innocent, infectious joy is enough to make the grinchiest of hearts grow three sizes. Of course, the "magic" is often created by parents who know that even increasing returns come at a cost — namely, our sanity. 

Humor is a tried-and-true way to cope with stress. If you want to laugh your way back into the holiday spirit, check out these tweets from parents who have elevated coping into an art form. 

1. Not Worth It

(source: Henpecked Hal) 

Eventually, the elaborate house of cards you build to hold up the Santa Fantasy starts to collapse. Why didn’t Santa put the bully reindeer on the naughty list? Why doesn’t Santa park his sleigh in one place and do a little roof-hopping? Why do I need to tell you what's on my list? But the development of critical thinking skills isn't always what wrecks the house. It can be our own limited vocabulary. 

2. The Audacity 

(source: Anna Doesn’t Want To) 

A cardinal rule of parenting is that you can't buy a pet without the express consent of both parents. It's just a fish, you might be thinking. They die off so fast. Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts. It comes with a very delicate housing situation that no kid is interested in handling. And don't count Nemo as a goner just yet. My kids have been gifted fish that have lived well past the promised expiration date.

3. Spreading the Love 

(source: Avocado Mama)

All these roles are deserving of praise, support, and individual Amazon orders. 

4. SO Nice

(source: Paige Kellerman)

If relaxing is a euphemism for frantically searching for, ordering, buying, wrapping, and hiding toys that are constantly out of stock, unavailable in the right color, subject to price gouging, and coming on and off the gift list, then yes, it's the most relaxing time of the year. 

5. When You Have to Be the Bigger Person

(source: The Salty Mamas) 

No one warns you that being a parent means keeping your best zingers to yourself. 

6. Set the Timer

(source: Rhyming Mama)

This is the one time of the year that kids will be concerned with how much time dads spend in the bathroom. Give them a sympathetic nod and encourage them to keep asking him if everything's alright in there. 

7. A Proper Introduction 

(source: Snark and Lemons)

Toddlers do not care about first impressions. They let you know what you can expect from them right off the hammer.

8. You’re Doing It Wrong 

(source: James Breakwell)

Not everyone's love language is quality time. Spending time with "you" is fine and all, but this kid appreciates the value of a dollar. Cash App works too. 

9. Do It for the ‘Gram 

(source: Mommy Cusses) 

Step away from the ornament and go have a seat while Mommy filters, crops, and photoshops in extra lights into this picture, mmkay? 

10. It Still Counts as Quality Family Time

(source: Simon Holland) 

Here's an exciting opportunity to experiment. Instead of buying your kid presents, hand them the iPad locked and loaded with other kids opening presents. I don't have the mental fortitude to be the guinea pig, but let me know if you want to volunteer. High risk, high reward. 

11. 0 Days Since Last Swearing Incident  

(source: Rodney Lacroix)

If you took a poll of Parents' Sweariest Month, I would bet all the gifts I have left to wrap that it's December. 

12. They Want It All 

(source: The Cat Whisprer)

It doesn't matter what the product is. Heck, it doesn't even have to be a product. "Oh, I want gutter cleaning services! Mom, can you tell Santa?"

13. Brilliant

(source: Mommy Owl)

This kid is impressive. He embraces his true nature of badassery by looking for like-minded partners-in-crime. Is there a better off-label use of Santa's Naughty List? 

14. Tough Luck, Kid  

(source: Not the Nanny)

Actually, no. Despite his mysterious beginnings, Santa is quite the literal reader. Better luck next year.

15. Pro Tip

(source: Mom Like That Podcast)

You'd expect your kids to be singularly focused on the gifts they spent the last couple of months begging for. You'd be wrong. Their first concern is what presents their siblings got. They come prepared with tape measures and magnifying glasses. Plan accordingly. 

16. ’Twas the Night Before Christmas

(source: Mama Fizzles)

The bedtime routine baseline is hard. But for the love of Cheetos, can these kids do us a solid by cooperating on Christmas Eve? We have to stay up late enough to put their presents out and wake up early enough to watch them open them. Is it too late to use Santa threats? 

17. Parenting Hack 

(source: Henpecked Hal)

Little known fact: carrots magically turn into toys the night before Christmas. But only once the kids are asleep. It's all coming full circle. 

18. It’s the Only Way

(source: Mommy Uncensored)

Eyes on the prize — and the prize is your kids waking you up at ungodly hours asking if they can open presents yet. 

19. The Jig Is Up

(source: James Breakwell)

I think the last family who lived here forgot to forward their address to Santa and these are actually their presents. You won't get so lucky next year. 

For more holiday laughs, make sure to check out our Holiday Meme Round-Up and don't forget to follow Bubble on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter! 

Ana Balich is a freelance writer, content creator, and social media marketer. She lives in Chicago with her husband and three young kids. You can find her on Instagram, Twitter, or eating Cheetos in her pantry.